Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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