I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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