I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
