How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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