So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
