think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
