I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Drunk is not a location!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
