My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
