I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
