Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
