Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
