I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
