Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
