PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
