If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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