You just made me feel so damn special
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
