Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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