Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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