seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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