So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
