All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
