My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
