i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
