1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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