i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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