He kissed a someone with a penis
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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