Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
