College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
