There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
