Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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