So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
