Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
