I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
