I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
