Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
