Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
