just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
