She announced her abortion via fbk
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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