you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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