He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
