i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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