I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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