It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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