If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
