did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
