btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
