i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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