I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
