When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
