Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
