omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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