This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
