yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
