Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
